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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes)
'--show me how you cat?' the bard wondered, his eyes quite disbelieving.

'What;s in it for me?' the rogue replied, his hands on his hips.

'I can get you more and better paints,' the bard offered.  'I want to learn your techniques.'

'Some of them take longer to learn than others.  but...this is how I cat.'

The bard watched with interest as the faintly homely rogue applied his skills and became one of the most famed courtesans in the Vavardi quarter.

'now,' the rogue said, his voice vanished into hers, 'you'll have to come here.  Once you understand, then I will teach you how to cat in return.'

The bard's breath caught; he was not one for men, but this...this was temptation beyond what any man could bear.  'Oh yes, teach me every--'
This is How I Cat
I blame the bards, and someone whose mind goes straight ot the guttre
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes)
--she peered through the cracked doors of her closet.  She would catch
the fiend that was defiling her hats!  The long feathered hat with
'imported' feather from the protectorates, the silk hat stiffened with
cashmere felt, the fur hat she rarely wore from Vandago...stained.  All of
them.  Ahh, sunset.  Normally she would be entertaining the delegation from
Tubor on the roof; they have such stamina, she thought with fondness.  They
pressed their petitions so fervently.  Wait, something moved.  Was it?
Could it be?  Her butler?!  In a lady's gown--HER gown!  --he was hanging
her latest hat upon her bedpost, a broad brimmed stiffened felt hat from
Farin that bore many wax fruit and felted animals in parade.  She watched
as he stroked it oh so tenderly, lovingly feeling each of the fruit in
turn.  ...he had no codpiece!  She stifled her gasp at such brazen abuse
of her gown, and stared as he pressed himself against her hat, driving--
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes and ideologically sensitive material)
--begged the question, how did a noble obtain the hated Order's robes of
the jay?  No, cardinal.  One of those strange birds in the northlands.  And
with the rear cut away?  What could he--ahh, that mysterious note, the odd
request, the...lard.  Someone knew...  Who could have found out?  His loins
burned with his shame, his unnatural desires...  The noble turned, a mask
upon his features, just as he wore one of his own.

"I see you are troubled, my child," the noble said, stumbling slightly over the strange
address.  "Come, let me minister to you."

"...i have the lard, father."

"Excellent, my child.  Turn, that you may receive my blessings."

"thank you, fath--
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes and strong language)
There was an old lady who liked it slow
but all of the men said, 'fuck?  no!'
at first she cried
then remembered the tide
and with floating wood the sea loved her high and low.

deviantID

AzarialOpOwen
United States
Current Residence: Colorado
Favourite genre of music: Filk

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:iconjjonesjr69:
JJonesJr69 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thx 4 faving   ...   :)

STEAM POWER by JJonesJr69  
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:iconjjonesjr69:
JJonesJr69 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thx 4 faving   ...   :)

THE PAINTED MASK II by JJonesJr69  
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:iconmoonbound92:
moonbound92 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch :)
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:iconluppi-san:
Luppi-san Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015
Thank you very much for the fav Racing Girl Emoji (Lovely Wink) [V3] 

I really apprecite it Neko Emoji-37 (Yay) [V2] 
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:iconjwiesner:
JWiesner Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015
Thank you for the +Watch! :)
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:iconheathercosplay:
HeatherCosplay Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for faving my cosplay! *^^*
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:iconhipolitouribarrigoye:
I thank you very much the fav:

Jessy Nude by HipolitoUribarrigoye
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:icontheblindalchemist:
TheBlindAlchemist Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav, sweetie =) Hope you keep reading me
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:icontheblindalchemist:
TheBlindAlchemist Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav, sweetie =) Hope you keep reading me
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:iconryu-den:
Ryu-den Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2015
thanks for the faves on Janett
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